During a three-hour roast that crudely bashed his former wife, mocked the mother of his eldest child, and yukked it up over a former teammate who died by suicide in prison, Tom Brady objected to only one gibe — the one that referenced the charges filed in 2019 against New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft for soliciting prostitution in a Florida day spa.
“Don’t say that [expletive] again,” Brady told comedian Jeff Ross, after he cracked a joke that mentioned a massage. In a subsequent appearance, Ross said Brady really wasn’t mad. Fake outrage or not, that exchange reflects the only reservation expressed by the former Patriots quarterback and winner of seven Super Bowls during what Netflix billed as “The Greatest Roast of All Time.”
The roast has been mostly celebrated as a comedic blitz that showcased Brady’s ability to scramble and take a hit when necessary before he begins the next phase of his life as an NFL analyst. News accounts note that most of the language was too vulgar to be repeated in the mainstream media. But the Donald Trump-approved locker-room talk isn’t the source of some pointed, post-roast controversy. It’s making the women who were once an important part of Brady’s life the butt of so many jokes. Why should they be roasted at what was supposed to be a Brady roast? As Sally Jenkins writes in The Washington Post, “Tom Brady must really need money, or attention, or proof that he’s a bro. He needed it bad enough to do that Netflix roast, in which he gallantly sacrificed the mothers of his children to clumsy third-rate comics …”
Some of the barbs aimed at Gisele Bündchen focused on the jujitsu trainer with whom she has been linked since her divorce from Brady. For example, comedian Kevin Hart offered up this observation: “How did you not see this coming? Eight [expletive] karate classes a day. … The only bruises she had were on her a--. Everybody should have known it.” In a joke that targeted Brady’s back and forth decision-making on retirement, comedian Nikki Glaser also found a way to reference Bridget Moynahan, the mother of Brady’s older son, Jack. “I mean, you retired, then you came back and then you retired again. I mean, I get it. It’s hard to walk away from something that’s not your pregnant girlfriend. To be fair, he didn’t know she was pregnant. He just thought she was getting fat, and Tom hates fat,” Glaser said.
Advertisement
Bündchen has put out word that she is “deeply disappointed by the disrespectful portrayal of her family” and the impact on their children. Brady’s three children were supposedly the only topic that the roasters decided was off-limits.
Aaron Hernandez, the Patriots player who died by suicide while serving a life sentence for murder, was definitely not off-limits. As Brady, who played with Hernandez for three seasons, joshed, “The bar for a Patriots tight end was pretty low back then: block, catch, don’t murder.” During the roast, former Patriots player Julian Edelman offered a joke with a hanging reference, and Ross, the comedian, noted that Hernandez was sending his greetings from hell. In response, Shayanna Jenkins, the fiancee of Hernandez and the mother of his only child, told TMZ, “It’s sad that I’m trying to raise my children in such a cruel world.”
Advertisement
Humor is in the eyes and ears of the beholder and it can be cruel. What is notable is Brady’s willingness to go along with cruel gibes about the mothers of his children and a dead teammate but draws a line — even for show — at a joke aimed at the billionaire football team owner who pleaded not guilty to two misdemeanor charges of solicitation that were ultimately dropped by prosecutors. With that, Brady seems determined to rebrand from the sensitive and devoted family man who was showcased in the 2018 “Tom vs. Time” documentary to something more marketable in his second career. From that perspective, laughing along with alleged witticisms that came at the expense of Bündchen and Moynahan, while distancing himself from a joke about Kraft, is a pure business decision — one that says a lot about what sells with football fans.
Meanwhile, it’s also notable that Brady felt free to joke about past cheating allegations made against him. At the end of the roast, he had this to say about the scandal known as “Deflategate,” which involved taking air out of footballs and led to his suspension from four games. “The NFL spent $20 million and found it was ‘more probable than not’ that I was ‘generally aware’ that someone may have deflated my footballs,” Brady said. “You could have given me the $20 million and I would have just told you I [expletive] did it,” Brady said.
Advertisement
Yes, humor can be cold and cruel. As Brady’s “Deflategate” joke shows, it can also be honest.
Correction: An earlier version of this column incorrectly said that Robert Kraft was arrested for soliciting prostitution. He was charged but not arrested, and the charges were ultimately dropped.
Joan Vennochi is a Globe columnist. She can be reached at joan.vennochi@globe.com. Follow her @joan_vennochi.
