Fertility counsellor urges women battling with infertility to embrace surrogacy

May 9, 2024

In a country where infertility ravages many homes, Olaronke Thaddeus is more than just a fertility counsellor; she is a beacon of hope for women battling the storms of infertility. With her warm smile and compassionate demeanour, she has helped countless individuals navigate the tumultuous waters of reproductive challenges. But her mission extends far beyond the confines of her counselling office; she is on a quest to break the culture of silence surrounding surrogacy in Nigeria and offer a lifeline to those in need.

As the founder of the Meet Surrogate Mothers Agency in Lagos, Thaddeus has witnessed first-hand the deep emotional turmoil that infertility could inflict upon couples. Many of them have tried every possible avenue to conceive, only to be met with disappointment time and time again. But in the face of adversity, Thaddeus sees an opportunity for a different kind of journey to parenthood – one that involves the selfless act of surrogacy. Her agency, initially established as a donor agency in 2014, has expanded to include surrogacy services a year later. She recognised that there is a pressing need for such services in Nigeria, where the topic of surrogacy is often shrouded in stigma and misconceptions. “I am determined to change that narrative, to educate and empower women to embrace surrogacy without guilt or shame,” she said.

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Through her years of experience as a fertility counsellor and her dedication to continuous learning, Thaddeus has become a trusted source of knowledge and support for women across the country. She has attended foreign courses and conferences on reproductive medicine, equipping herself with the latest advancements in the field. But perhaps her most impactful contributions came through her online platform – a website and YouTube channel where she shared valuable insights on fertility issues and provided a safe space for women to seek guidance and support.

On a warm afternoon yesterday in Lagos, she sat in her office, surrounded by shelves lined with books on reproductive health and family building. She had just finished a counselling session with a couple struggling with infertility, offering them words of encouragement and a glimmer of hope. As they left her office, gratitude etched upon their faces, Thaddeus couldn’t help but feel a sense of fulfillment in her work. But her mission is far from over. With each passing day, she encountered more women battling the emotional turmoil of infertility, their dreams of motherhood seemingly slipping further out of reach. It is for them that she continues to advocate for surrogacy – a pathway to parenthood that offers a ray of hope amid the darkness.

“Surrogacy, in its essence, is a reproductive arrangement whereby a woman agrees to carry a pregnancy for another individual or couple, often referred to as intended parents. This altruistic act of carrying and delivering a child on behalf of someone else opens doors to parenthood for those facing infertility, medical complications, or other barriers to conception. At its core, the purpose of surrogacy is to provide a solution to fertility challenges and empower individuals or couples to realise their dreams of having a child. Whether due to medical conditions, genetic factors, or personal circumstances, many women find themselves unable to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term. Surrogacy offers them a lifeline, a chance to experience the joys of parenthood despite the hurdles they may face.

“One of the primary benefits of surrogacy is its ability to provide a sense of fulfillment and completeness to individuals or couples longing for a child of their own. For those struggling with infertility or recurrent pregnancy loss, surrogacy offers a glimmer of hope in what may otherwise feel like a bleak landscape. Through the selfless act of a surrogate, intended parents can embark on the journey of parenthood with renewed optimism and gratitude.

“Furthermore, surrogacy allows for a degree of genetic connection and involvement that other forms of assisted reproductive technology may not afford. In gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate carries an embryo created using the intended parents’ genetic material, there is still a profound sense of genetic continuity and connection. Moreover, surrogacy offers a level of control and involvement in the pregnancy and birth process that may be lacking in other forms of family building,” she explained.

In her efforts to raise awareness about surrogacy, Thaddeus has organised workshops and seminars, inviting experts from around the world to share their knowledge and experiences. Yesterday, she spoke passionately about the benefits of surrogacy – the sense of fulfillment it can bring, the opportunity for genetic connection, and the level of control and involvement it affords intended parents. But perhaps her most impactful initiative is the offer of free in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment to couples who couldn’t afford it. Thaddeus believes that financial barriers should never stand in the way of someone’s dream of starting a family. And so, she works tirelessly to secure funding and resources, ensuring that every couple have access to the care and support they need.

As word of her generosity spreads, Thaddeus said she regularly finds herself inundated with inquiries from hopeful couples across the country. Each story touches her heart in its own unique way – the couples struggling with unexplained infertility, the many women with bouts of miscarriages longing to experience the joys of motherhood, the couples yearning to build a family of their own. But amid the joy and triumph of each success story, Thaddeus never loses sight of the challenges ahead. “Surrogacy is still a relatively new concept in Nigeria, and there are many obstacles to overcome – legal, cultural, and ethical,” she admitted. Yet, she remains undeterred in her mission, knowing that the journey to parenthood is worth every obstacle faced.

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