30 Romantic Sex Positions That’ll Bring You So Much Closer
Prepare to boost your intimacy like never before.
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Everyone’s idea of romance varies, but the most romantic sex positions have a few things in common: There’s always intimacy, passion, deep connection, and both (or all) of you are completely locked into each other. But how do you get there, you ask? It’s simple, really: Plan the romance!
“When I work with couples, I encourage them to be present, mindful and intentional about romantic time,” says clinical sexologist and sex coach Georgia Rose. So consider this permission to actually schedule sex (yes, really, on your calendar!). It’ll help you build spicy anticipation for what lies ahead.
And don’t forget to optimize your space! Light some candles and prep your bed with a high-quality sex blanket to avoid the romance-crushing wet spot. Set out a few kinds of lube and an array of fun sex toys. Make a romantic dinner or order in from your favorite spot.
Once you make it to the bed (or wherever it is you want to get it on), the best way to feel the romance is to get closer to your partner—literally! “When more of your skin is touching theirs, positions feel more intimate,” says Cosmopolitan columnist Zachary Zane, LGBTQ+ expert for Lovehoney. Friction and body contact boost those lovey dovey feelings of connection.
While in bed, take it slow. “All too often, there's a focus on hard and fast sex! While that can be very pleasurable, when you slow it down and really take time to feel every part of your partner, you can make the sexual experience more intense and romantic,” says Zane.
The important thing is to go deep and be intentional, whether you’re trying a next-level challenge position or having a really great cuddle. “Often, doing less is much more romantic and intimate than having penetrative sex,” says Rose. If you feel like nothing exists in the world but the two of you, you’re doing it right.
So because we love you so very much, here are 30 romantic sex positions to get you both all loved up. Try these first, thank us later.
Closed Missionary
“Open to some serious Os?” asks Angie Rowntree, founder and director Sssh.com, a site for ethical porn made from a woman's point of view. The answer, obvi, is hells yes.
“Try Closed Missionary,” she says. “This twist on a classic position allows for plenty of clitoral stimulation and slower penetration…which is generally ideal for most women. The clitoris should always be invited to the party. Closed missionary not only achieves this, but if you love edging until you’re at the brink, it’s the ultimate tease.” Throw a vibrating cock ring in there for extra buzziness.
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Sidways Tango
This is the closest you can get to doing the tango (the dance of seduction!) while remaining in bed. “Getting intermeshed with a lover and finding some connection helps gets those happy hormones flooding your systems. This position combines all the feel-good of cuddling with all the sexiness of genital connection,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. Plus both of y’all have a hand free for toy use.
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Watching each other in the throes of raw sex is about as intimate as it gets. “This is a great active position for the person being penetrated,” says Stewart. “Being able to use your feet to anchor yourself provides you with the stability that you need and the ability to help you rock your hips in place just the way that you like. It's also a way to show off your moves.” Plus it’s easy for the bottom person to rub their partner’s clit with a lubey thumb or bullet vibe.
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The Sexy CAT
According to Netflix’s steamiest show Sex/Life (season 1, episode 5, if you must) the coital alignment technique, provides “the ultimate connection, both physical and emotional.” The position, aka CAT, is a version of missionary where the person on top moves their pelvis up on the bottom person’s body and grinds instead of thrusts. The result is much more clitoral contact and a slower, more intimate experience for all. A clitoral alignment, if you will.
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Super Slo-Mo
Try a basic position like missionary and slow it way down—like, to a ridiculous degree. Super slo-mo sex really puts you in the moment, so every touch feels amplified. Let yourselves linger over a kiss, a hand brushing against a thigh, a gentle suck on an earlobe. Make a deal not to even talk during and just communicate via moans and sighs.
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A Loving Hand
Even the humble hand job can be romanced up if you decide to make it so. Kiss, lick and stroke your partner while murmuring about what you like about their body and what you’re seeing. (Think: “Your cock is so swollen.” “Your lips are puffing up.”) Adjust the level of dirty talk, according to taste. “You look so good right now” works for pretty much all occasions.) Bring out a special stroker/clit toy for the occasion, because amazing orgasms are also highly romantic.
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The Double Blind
Yes, eye contact is huge for romantic sex, but…so is mutual blindfolding. You’ll be extra-focused on how your partner is touching you, but also more attuned to how they feel/sound/smell/taste to you. Whether you move it to oral, penetrative, or mutual hand jobs, really notice the sensory things happening—the scent of your partner’s neck, the taste of a drop of pre-cum, or the particular way they moan. So. Hot.
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The Throwback
Remember how insanely hot early make-out sessions were? Lots of awkward and ill-formed pawing, yes, but also that sort of desperate grinding against each other where you just…wanted. Recreate it with a fully clothed make-out session and revel/suffer in that feeling of wanting each other so damn much. You can end up fully naked or go all in with the outercourse, whether that’s a toy pressed against jeans or an old-timey dry hump.
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The Melting Hug
For a really deep feeling of connection, try a Tantric bonding exercise called the Melting Hug. “Undress yourselves very slowly in front of one another and then wrap yourselves in a long, full-body embrace (standing up only) for 10-15 minutes, breathing in unison,” says Rose. “It’s a deeply bonding practice that helps relax partners into a sexual and erotic space together.” This can lead to something or be the something—it’s that intense.
The Rocking Horse
For a romanced-up version of cowgirl, have the bottom person sit straight up, leaning back on a wall or headboard for support. Press your upper bodies together (see above: “Get really close,” check ✅) for ample kissing (check ✅), eye contact (check ✅) and caressing (well, that’s just always good). “The rocking motion of the top partner is great for stimulating the vulva, but if you love clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex, a c-shaped vibrator or vibrating penis ring work really well in this position,” says certified sexpert Isabelle Uren, writer at Bedbible.com.
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The Lotus of Love
This classic Tantric position is pretty much the *it* position for romance. “This is, IMO, the all-time greatest intimate position, with tons of opportunity for kissing, talking, eye contact and upper body contact,” says staff sexologist at Good Vibes, Carol Queen, PhD, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. Once you’re situated on your partner’s lap, just rock slowly, gazing at each other and basking in the sexiness.
The Lovers Embrace
It’s easy, super intimate, and sexy AF. “Think missionary but on your side,” says dominatrix Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky. You lie facing each other, entwining yourselves however your bodies fit together. “The key to this one is to move together in a rhythm.” Good for holding each other tightly, lots of eye contract and, if you want to press a wee bullet vibe in there, nobody’s stopping you. 👀
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The Lap Dance
A lap dance is not just super hot, it also can be super intimate. “Take some time to kiss, caress, and gaze into one another’s eyes as you straddle them,” says sex and relationship expert, Jess O'Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. “Face-to-face positions may be more appealing if you feel eye contact creates a stronger connection and deepens feelings of intimacy. Slow your breath and breathe. You can experience physiological synchronization and the shared movement and flow can help you to tune into the moment, which can lead to heightened pleasure and intimacy.”
Synchronized Missionary
Missionary is all kinds of amazing, especially if you personalize it. Try wrapping your legs around your partner, recommends polyamorous cannabis activist Tiana GlittersaurusRex, co-founder of The Sex Work Survival Guide, a non-profit organization advocating for sex workers. “I also love to grab their ass and be a part of the same movements they're making."
The Big Quiet Spoon
“It's a spooning position where the front partner controls all movements with regard to speed and depth while the rear partner stays still,” says O'Reilly. “Abstaining from movement and allowing your partner to take control, with open communication and checking in, can create both an erotic and connected experience.” Yes, please.
Slow 69
Get rid of the rushed multi-tasking that can be 69 by slowing it way down. You'll have plenty of time to focus on the feel and taste of your partner while letting your arousal build up slowly and organically. Give oral at one-half, or one-fourth speed to make extra sure nobody's rushing and don't let each other have an orgasm until it becomes (almost) unbearable.
The Focus Group
Gazing into each other's eyes is instantly bonding and can feel incredibly intimate. Try touching yourselves or each other while looking into each other's eyes. Instead of closing your eyes as you orgasm, keep looking at them. Or perform oral sex and look up and them when they finish. It can be a deeply passionate experience.
As You Wish
Set aside an evening for one of you to be completely pampered. The giver lavishes their complete attention on the receiver—via massage, mouth, hands and toys—expecting nothing in return. (If the giver gets way too turned on, they can jerk off after—but only after—the other person is beyond fully pleased.) If you're the one doing the pampering, prep ahead of time by setting out candles, really nice lube, and a toy or two they might like. Send your partner a photo of your bedside table filled with what awaits them. If you are the pampered one, let yourself fully enjoy your partner's touch—you are not allowed to reciprocate, so it's a great exercise in just relaxing and receiving.
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The Couch Rocker
For a super intimate position that's also totally comfortable, have your partner sit on the arm of the couch. Sit on their lap, facing them, with your feet on the seat cushion. Rock gently while hugging them tight. Look into their eyes during and it's like a magic love potion.
The Sweet Course
Go ahead and treat yourselves to a candlelit home-cooked meal. Afterwards, sit on the edge of the table, spread your legs, and drizzle a trail of chocolate syrup up your inner thigh. Lie back onto the table so they can lick their way up your leg. Put a little dollop on your clit (not inside!) and let them lick little circles around it. After, return the favor.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
Korin Miller is a freelance writer who lives by the beach. She has big hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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