The funniest show on television is Girls5Eva, which transplanted from the backwoods of Peacock to the mires of Netflix for its third season. While a lot of shows have taken off after landing on Netflix — You, for instance — Girls5Eva, from the data available publicly, didn’t get many viewers on the platform. I’m no expert on the mechanics of streaming, but I have one radical explanation for why this is happening: There are simply not enough episodes of Girls5Eva available to watch. On Peacock, the show had two eight-episode seasons. Netflix has given it an additional six. That means that Girls5Eva has aired, in total, only 22 episodes, about the same number as a full-season order of an old-fashioned network sitcom like 30 Rock, to which Meredith Scardino’s series is deeply indebted (Scardino wrote on 30 Rock; Tina Fey is a Girls5Eva executive producer). Over a three-year period? This is simply not enough!
Sitcoms are built for mass production and consumption, with dynamics between characters designed to generate an endless stream of story lines, and it can take a season or two to fully gel. Girls5Eva is lucky enough to have a distinct sensibility and a strong cast from the start, but it hasn’t had the space to work through all the possible material. There’s so much to mine in flashbacks to the girl group’s checkered early-aughts past, in Wickie’s failed solo career, in Summer’s wackadoo Christian upbringing, in Gloria’s fraught lesbian drama, and in Dawn’s attempts to find her own way as a songwriter (plus the larger meta arc of Sara Bareilles coming into her own as a comedic actor). Season three, in which the crew goes on tour around the country, tries to cover so much ground it’s like a distance runner sprinting at her vO2 max. The overarching plot — they want to perform at Radio City Music Hall — encroaches on all the fun along the way, rushing past a guest appearance from Cat Cohen, the reveal of Wickie’s real backstory, and an intricate Harry Styles parody. Sitcoms should be about all the fun everyone is having along the way, and we’ve lost that.
But there is another and perhaps more important reason that we need longer seasons of Girls5Eva: holidays. Network sitcoms, airing on a traditional schedule, have the opportunity to set episodes around the holidays near which they would air; think of the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends, The Office’s Christmas episodes, 30 Rock’s impeccable use of Leap Day. In my ideal universe where Girls5Eva has 22-episode seasons, Netflix would also abandon the binge strategy and air those episodes weekly, but that’s not a necessity. You could still drop them all at once, which gives me the opportunity to revisit the holiday episodes as those holidays occur throughout the year. If you need convincing, here are my suggestions for some holidays the Girls5Eva might celebrate:
Christmas (duh): Dawn tries to write a Christmas song; Wickie reveals a longstanding feud with Mariah Carey (she claims one of the items from her riff rolodex appears in “All I Want for Christmas Is You”; Mariah does not know her).
Thanksgiving: The girls try to book a gig at the Macy’s Parade (as Peacock actually had the stars do, to the confusion of my parents watching at home) while also atoning for their past sins at the event (revealed in flashback).
Valentine’s Day: Gloria revisits a past relationship with Taylor Lautner (she was his dentist).
Tax season: Summer reveals she hasn’t been paying taxes for years (thought you were covered if you already paid your church).
Presidents’ Day: Dawn tries to write a song about Lincoln being sexy, inadvertently offends a gay activist group.
Pride month: Return of Bowen Yang’s lip-sync influencer.
Cuffing season: Big for Gloria.
The Feast of San Gennaro: Big for Dawn (why is the show so all-in on Sara Bareilles being Italian??).
V-E Day: Wickie and Dawn’s husband, Scott, discover their mutual fascination with the Eastern Front: “I spent a lot of time touring post-Soviet states, okay!”
Casimir Pulaski Day: Gloria has beef with Sufjan Stevens.
