Part of the art of being Taylor Swift is embodying first the Everygirl, then the Everywoman — the Miss Americana in them all, from era to era.
Beyoncé is a goddess, Taylor is a real-life human — just like us.
But there’s a moment on “The Tortured Poets Department” — the insanely anticipated 11th studio album by the Queen of the Swifties — when she embraces her power as the most famous, the most influential woman in America, if not on the planet.
It occurs on “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” — one of two tunes that Swift wrote by herself with that wicked pen of hers.
“I was tame, I was gentle/’Til the circus life made me mean/Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth/Who’s afraid of little old me?/Well you should be,” she sings in the rumbling revenge song that brings some menace to the melody.
And you can bet that Swift’s most recent exes — the 1975 frontman Matty Healy and, especially, British actor Joe Alwyn — have been quaking in their boots ever since the pop superstar announced “The Tortured Poets Department” after winning Best Pop Vocal Album for 2022’s “Midnights” at the Grammys in February.
Sure enough — there is plenty of “Bad Blood” spilled on Swift’s latest. And with the raw honesty and specificity of her lyrics, she is clearly in her “IDGAF” era.
In fact, the album starts with back-to-back shockers that just might have you clutching your pearls — or, in this case, your friendship bracelets.
“I was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me,” she reveals at the beginning of album opener “Fortnight,” hinting at some kind of crisis.
Then she digs deeper into the dirt with an even more jarring jaw-dropper: “I was a functioning alcoholic/’Till nobody noticed my new aesthetic/All of this to say, I hope you’re OK/But you’re the reason.”
In 30 seconds, she’s gone from “Love Story” to “Horror Story.”
But then again, Swift — like many of us — hasn’t been the same since the pandemic. Not the same artist — and probably not the same woman.
Indeed, “Folklore” — released in the darkest days of the 2020 lockdown — introduced us to Taylor 2.0, with its intimate alt-folk feels connecting to us in the midst of isolation.
Swift’s trusted “Folklore” tandem of Bleachers lead singer Jack Antonoff and the National frontman Aaron Dessner are back in her songwriting/production squad on “TTPD.”
But one “Folklore” collaborator who isn’t back is Alwyn — after their six-year relationship ended in 2023.
Here's what to know about Taylor Swift's new album 'The Tortured Poets Department':
- The 14-time Grammy winner released her highly anticipated 11th studio album “The Tortured Poets Department” on Friday.
- Swift sent her fans into a frenzy at 2 a.m. after revealing the record is a double album. Titled “The Anthology,” Swift’s late-night surprise includes 15 bonus tracks, bringing the total song count to a whopping 31.
- Swift initially unveiled her 16-song album at midnight, including collaborations with Post Malone and Florence Welch on two tracks. There are also four bonus tracks, “The Manuscript,” “The Bolter,” “The Albatross” and “The Black Dog” that are featured on various vinyl versions of the album. The four tracks, as well as 11 new songs, are included in “The Anthology.”
- A poem about heartbreak that serves as a prologue for the album was written by Fleetwood Mac alum Stevie Nicks.
- There are several celeb names peppered throughout the album’s lyrics. The mention of singer Charlie Puth’s name took some Swifties by surprise.
- While some of Swift’s exes aren’t spared on “TTPD,” the singer, 34, does seemingly reference her current beau Travis Kelce on the new album’s track “The Alchemy” in a loving way.
- As for her exes, 1975 frontman Matty Healy is reportedly referenced throughout the 31-song-strong record. In fact, Healy — who, before their summer split, was a rebound romance for the pop superstar following her breakup with British actor Joe Alwyn after six years — appears to be the subject of the vicious takedown “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” Other fans, however, may speculate the “sparkling summer” line is about Alwyn. There are also hints that “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” — gotta love that title — might be about 35-year-old Healy.
- As for Alwyn, Swift dropped hints about the pair’s ill-fated six-year romance for a good — or for him, not so good — part of the album. Check out the 10 Alwyn-related references we’ve spotted.
- Read The Post’s review of “The Tortured Poets Department” here.
- Shop special-edition vinyls of Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” at Target.
- Buy “The Tortured Poets Department” Ghosted White 2 LP special edition set now.
And he gets the Taylor treatment on “So Long, London” — a bittersweet goodbye to the city where the former lovebirds once lived together.
“Just how low did you think I’d go/Before I’d self implode,” Swift sings over a throbbing beat that is still more downer than banger.
Elsewhere, Healy — who Swift dated briefly after her Alwyn split last year — seems be the target of her pen on the vicious takedown “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” (That title says it all.)
But on “TTPD” — much of which pulses with the same moody, mid-tempo electro-pop of “Midnights” — the love is not all lost. “The Alchemy” is a sexy slow dance that is unabashedly about Swift’s current beau, Travis Kelce.
“Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me,” she sings about her Super Bowl champ stud.
And all of a sudden, our girl is living the dream again.
If there’s one knock against “The Tortured Poets Department” — other than the melancholy malaise it sometimes falls into — it’s that the timing feels a bit off.
Swift is still in the middle of her epic Eras Tour, just won a record fourth Album of the Year Grammy for “Midnights” and is now a certified billionaire at 34. Plus, she’s boo’d up with her own personal bodyguard in Kelce.
How exactly are we supposed to commiserate with her “tortured heart” again?
And yet we can’t shake her off.
