Okon feeds white lion
As the drama of former public officials hiding away from the same public they had served so diligently and meritoriously intensified, yours sincerely has been watching the tomfoolery and buffoonery of it all with increasing fascination.
Whatever will make a nation’s errant political class dishonour the sacred ethos of public service with such brazen indiscretion and alarming criminality remains a subject of great historical fascination. Snooper has consulted all the great books of history and the matter remains a great mystery. Not even the theory of primitive accumulation could be of great help in this outlandish bazaar of barracudas.
Just think of all the former governors, former senators, former ministers, former lawmakers, former party grandees and former helmsmen of blue chips company who are having a scrape or who have had scrapes with EFCC and you begin to wonder whether the nation has been overwhelmed by men and women of the underworld. There is no word in the dictionary for this kind of thieving culture, or the scope and scale of it all. With public distemper mounting, it is obvious that the situation requires harsh legislation or some urgent constitutional tinkering before it tips into anarchy.
You can trust Baba Lekki, the old contrarian, to cotton in on the show. He had recently returned from a trip to the Kogi State capital where he was seen pasting a wanted notice on all public buildings in Lokoja with an old picture of the former governor looking like an apprentice tradesman. When he was challenged by irate tribesmen who live on the Kukuruku Hills, he thought it was a joke until he was pounced upon and forced to stuff the remaining notices down his own gullet.
On Friday morning just before the airwaves filled with the latest turn in the hide and seek drama between a former governor and the EFCC, Okon barged in as yours sincerely lapped up the early morning drizzle while cozying up in bed. The midnight rains were quite a becalming blessing. With air conditioners prohibited by the prohibitive tariffs, yours sincerely has taken to sleeping swamped by cold bottles.
“Okon, where are you going so early in the morning?” snooper ventured to ask.
“Ha oga, I wan quickly reach Okene make I feed dem white lion. He don tey when him dey live under dem police woman him bed. Dem say, him dey cry for night as hunger dey wire am. He don dey chop him own white bally and him belle come dey swell”, the mad boy chanted breathlessly.
“Okon, but lions don’t eat eba or small chops”, yours sincerely noted, hiding his amusement.
“Oga, ha dis kind lion go chop anything, even insect sef. No be real lion. Na yeye lion. Him come dey run for common police. Wetin him dey do if dem send dem samanja soja?” the mad boy retorted.
“Okon, but the man has obtained an injunction”, snooper noted.
“Oga dat one na Otukpo market injunction. If him like make him obtain conjunction. Him must to comot. Even dem armed robber no dey thieve like dat”, Okon snarled.
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“I can see you even put plenty of milk and Congo meat”, yours sincerely noted with a straight face.
“Ha oga dat one na breast milk from Umuozara baby factory. You no say dem yeye man like plenty breast milk. Him get sixty pikin and him dey fire even dem police women”, Okon whispered and winked conspiratorially. It was at this point that yours sincerely drove out the mad boy.
An elder statesman cuts
Joe Ajaero some slack
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I have had another look at your column titled May Day for Labour. Even the Ajaero picture gave enough hint of what followed. The present NLC President is not different in stature from the popular former NLC President, Adams Oshiomhole, who was its president until 2007. He contested office for Edo State Governor in 2007 under APC. He was Governor, Edo State, 2008-2016. He was APC Chairman and now Senator.
There does not seem to be much wrong then in President Ajaero’s approach, except that Oshiomhole’s term has ended and he had time to nurture a political set up which saw him through. He started with Labour Party, on to ACN and finally to APC. On the other hand, our President Ajaero went into a fully established Labour Party, with an existing structure complete with a Party Chairman, and he got severely bruised because he did not appear to have done his homework before he set off.
Name withheld.
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