Ryan Papenhuyzen feels like he has disappointed the Melbourne Storm in recent years. He hates the feeling.
The guilt of missing so many games through serious injury reminds him of one of the darkest times in his life. When he was in high school, his mother, Rachel, was diagnosed with breast cancer.
For a brief period, Papenhuyzen feared his mum would not survive.
“A lot of people’s drive comes from experiences when they were younger; that fear of failure, and not wanting to be a disappointment,” Papenhuyzen says.
“For me, it goes back to me growing up. I was a bit of a ratbag before year 9, then Mum got really sick, she got breast cancer, and that was my first realisation of, am I being an embarrassment of a child to her?
“I was a bit rude, a bit of a pest, and I didn’t put the time and effort into school. But it kicked me into gear when Mum got sick.
“She went through chemo, and at the time I didn’t know how long she had left. It was awful to see her go through the chemo. It brought us closer as a family.
“I wanted to make her proud and not think I was wasting my potential.
Ryan Papenhuyzen suffered another devastating injury in last season’s finals loss to Brisbane.Credit: NRL Photos
“Mum’s big thing was, ‘Be a good human’. When I’d leave the house each day, she’d be like, ‘Do a good deed for someone today.’ That’s always been her mentality.
“The cancer came back a few years later when I was in Melbourne, but she’s been good for a few years now.
“I don’t want to embarrass anyone or let people down; that’s something that has always driven me, and is driving me now with the Storm.
“I feel like I’ve let the club down the last couple of years.”
Ryan Papenhuyzen with mum Rachel (with sunglasses on her head) and family.
Papenhuyzen won the Clive Churchill Medal in 2020, and was in the NSW State of Origin squad when the interstate series was played at the end of that year due to COVID. He would have been handy for game three at Suncorp Stadium after James Tedesco was knocked out early, but didn’t get a start.
Papenhuyzen had the world at his feet as 2021 rolled around.
But then things started to go wrong. Badly wrong.
He suffered a serious concussion in a sickening incident in Magic Round of that season, which kept him out for 10 weeks, then shattered a knee cap against the Raiders in 2022 and missed more than a year of football. After months of agonising rehabilitation, he made it back onto the field in round 26 last year as part of a three-game cameo, which ended with a bone sticking out of his right ankle against the Broncos in the first week of the finals.
It was an injury that echoed around the league world, such is Papenhuyzen’s popularity.
Ryan Papenhuyzen fractured his knee cap against the Raiders in 2022, an injury that kept him out of the game for more than a year.Credit: NRL Photos
Storm legend Billy Slater was in the Channel Nine studios at North Sydney during the week and was almost upset when told about Papenhuyzen’s feeling of guilty for missing so much game time.
Slater still works with Papenhuyzen once a week at the Storm and is someone he considers a close friend.
“I don’t agree with him there, and that’s tough to hear,” Slater says. “I see it quite the opposite. What he’s given the club and town and the supporters of the Melbourne Storm, he’s one heck of a player. He’s been a Clive Churchill Medallist, so I think he’s already given plenty.
“All you can ask of a player is to put their body on the line, and you can’t criticise him for that.”
Ryan Papenhuyzen says he is back to 100 per cent as he prepares to make his comeback in round one of the 2024 campaign.Credit: Melbourne Storm
To make sure he did everything possible to be ready for round one for the Storm on March 8, Papenhuyzen paid his own way to return to the US to work with reconditioning guru Bill Knowles again. He paid for his own flights and accommodation, which cost about $40,000 for a fortnight.
There was the time in the pool using flippers to get full range back in his right ankle. Using a hula-hoop while on top of a balance beam and tossing a ball against the wall, which helped fire up muscles and parts of his brain he had not regularly used.
Knowles also had Papenhuyzen remove the seat from an exercise bike, crouch down like a jockey on the back of a thoroughbred, then slowly pedal backwards to fire up his quads.
Papenhuyzen has had enough time out of the game and was prepared to try anything.
At just 25, he’s been through a lot, but he’s not ready to throw in the towel yet.
“I always said I’d go back and see Bill if I was injured or not and, as it turned out, I had done my ankle,” Papenhuyzen says. “I wanted clarity knowing I was moving in the right direction.
“I want to keep being the player I was. I don’t want to be mediocre. I want to be someone who is lighting it up, someone who is inspirational and one of the best players in the comp.
“To do that, I needed my body to be back where I needed it to be, and I was confident Bill could help with that.
Ryan Papenhuyzen contemplates his future during a long injury layoff.Credit: NRL Photos
“Every time I go there he blows my mind. He puts things into perspective as well, and never once doubts your ability to come back and play at the level you were at.
“I came back to training [with the Storm] in December a lot more refreshed and confident, and I knew it was going to be a breeze compared to my knee.
“Over the Christmas break I went back to Sydney for three days, but the rest was back at the club. I worked with the physios and did everything Bill was saying, and added a bit more again.
“By the time we started back on January 4, I was running and moving. As of two weeks ago I was flying, and back to 100 per cent.”
Last week Papenhuyzen had a synvisc injection for his knee – a single-dose treatment injected directly into his knee – which will keep it lubricated for the next six months.
He looks fit, and his famous mullet, which has kept the sponsorship dollars rolling in while on the sidelines, has that extra bounce.
Despite all the setbacks, Papenhuyzen seems at peace and in a good headspace.
Samoan rookie Sua Fa’alongo and Nick Meaney have spent time at fullback during the off-season, but this is Papenhuyzen’s time.
He will play in round one. Melbourne won’t be disappointed.
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