There is rarely an in-between for Manchester United this season.
Their performances are largely either woeful or brilliant, often leaning towards the former even when they record a fortunate win – or grind out a lucky draw, as was the case against Liverpool.
It happened again in the 2-2 draw against Bournemouth on Saturday, with the point contradicting another woefully hopeless display and once more leaving many questioning how they are as high as seventh in the Premier League table.
The draw once more ensured United stave off an unwanted record, albeit with six games to go a 13th Premier League loss of the season feels inevitable, one that would overtake their forgettable 2013-14 and 2021-22 campaigns.
Whether that happens or not, in reality not since 1989-90 and the 16 defeats when finishing 13th in the old First Division has it been this bad.
And whether Erik ten Hag oversees those remaining matches, which also includes an FA Cup semi-final against Coventry City next Sunday, remains to be seen.
It would not be surprising to see him stay for now – i reported last week United are struggling to find a viable alternative – but his chances of being in the dugout next season must surely be in the gutter.
Having fallen to seventh on account of Newcastle’s impressive win over Tottenham earlier on Saturday, the weekend got worse just 16 minutes into their match at Bournemouth, although it was no shock given United have already conceded more shots this season than any other Premier League campaign.
Since Opta records began in 2003-04, they are now closer to the 600-mark when only two seasons have previously gone above 500 (511 in 2021-22, 506 in 2011-12).
They also have the bottom three for company when it comes to most shots conceded this season – United’s 17.9 per match before kick-off was below only Sheffield United (18.1) and worse than Luton (16.8) and Burnley (15.4) – and true to form their average of one shot faced per five minutes saw them allow three by around the quarter-hour mark.
The third proved to be Bournemouth’s opener, put away superbly by Dominic Solanke, and the Cherries recorded seven shots in total by the time United had their first on target – which just so happened to be Bruno Fernandes’ equaliser.
It was against the run of play, but a sign United could once more wrestle back points from a losing position.
The parity lasted for all of five minutes, however, with Justin Kluivert awarded the freedom of the Vitality Stadium when restoring Bournemouth’s lead.
“You can’t believe how easy it is, you really can’t,” Sky Sports co-commentator Alan Smith said during the broadcast.
“That is so poor, all the space and time in the world to get his shot away. Just a lack of communication between defenders, but what a response from Bournemouth. Every time they go forward they look like they can score. So shoddy from United, so shoddy.”
United made a change at half-time, replacing Alejandro Garnacho with FA Cup quarter-final hero Amad Diallo, but Bournemouth remained on top as United looked to be stumbling towards another defeat – failing to record a shot on target in the second half until the 65th minute.
That was, of course, their second equaliser. How they keep doing this defies belief, as does the decision to award that penalty for a handball in the first place.
Kobbie Mainoo’s shot initially hit Ryan Christie and deflected onto the top of Adam Smith’s arm, all in a flash, and there was only the briefest of VAR checks from Jarred Gillet before referee Tony Harrington’s on-field decision was backed.
“My initial reaction is he could not do too much about it,” Smith added. “It is just his body movement going towards the ball. It was quite high on his arm, but unlucky.”
Not overturned because it was not a clear and obvious error? Most likely, but how Harrington deemed that a penalty given the speed it played out was baffling – particularly as Smith did not appear to move his arm towards the ball, nor make his body “unnaturally bigger” (as per the International Football Association Board’s laws of the game below).
Ifab handball rules 2023-24
For the purposes of determining handball offences, the upper boundary of the arm is in line with the bottom of the armpit. Not every touch of a player’s hand/arm with the ball is an offence.
It is an offence if a player:
• deliberately touches the ball with their hand/arm, for example moving the hand/arm towards the ball
• touches the ball with their hand/arm when it has made their body unnaturally bigger. A player is considered to have made their body unnaturally bigger when the position of their hand/arm is not a consequence of, or justifiable by, the player’s body movement for that specific situation. By having their hand/arm in such a position, the player takes a risk of their hand/arm being hit by the ball and being penalised
Nevertheless, Fernandes rescued United again before a late VAR call deemed a Bournemouth penalty was actually, narrowly, outside the area. “You only check when it’s Bournemouth,” the home crowd chanted, and after that free-kick was deflected over – the full-time whistle sounded soon after.
For United, surely this won’t, can’t, last much longer. If it does then Ten Hag is surely hurtling towards another two unwanted Premier League records at the club, on top of that potential 13th loss.
Not since 1989-90 have they recorded a negative goal difference at the end of the season (-1). They finished on precisely zero in 2021-22, and are currently on -1.
They also still require eight points to avoid their worst-ever return in the Premier League – the 58 earned in 2021-22.
That requires three wins from six to overtake, and those prospects look truly in the balance, with matches at home to Sheffield United, Burnley, Arsenal and Newcastle and away trips to Crystal Palace and Brighton.
Either way, it is woeful, and nothing an FA Cup should save.