Chelsea 6-0 Everton (Palmer 13′, 18′, 29′, 64′ pen, Jackson 44′, Gilchrist 90′)
STAMFORD BRIDGE — Cole Palmer’s historic hot streak continued as he scored the perfect hat-trick to sink an abject Everton side in west London on Monday night.
Palmer is the first Chelsea player ever to score in seven consecutive Premier League home games and completed his hat-trick in just 29 minutes.
The 21-year-old finished with four goals to his name on the night and reached 20 for the season in the league, drawing level with Erling Haaland in the race for the Golden Boot.
Nicolas Jackson added a first-half fourth and Palmer won and scored a penalty in the second half, before academy product Alfie Gilchrist put the icing on the cake with his first Chelsea goal in stoppage time.
The only real blot on the Chelsea copybook was the embarrassing argument between wide man Noni Madueke and Jackson over who should take the penalty won by – guess who – Palmer.
Captain Conor Gallagher eventually had to intervene and took the ball off both of them to give it to the club’s penalty taker and top-scorer, who of course scored.
The row was later labelled “unacceptable” by manager Mauricio Pochettino, who apologised to the club’s fans.
Palmer did not just score the perfect hat-trick, it was a trio of goals that each showed shades of a different player.
The first one was Paul Gascoigne-esque as Palmer nutmegged Jarrad Branthwaite, cut out Amadou Onana with a back-heeled pass and then calmly placed a shot into the far corner.
His second was a poacher’s effort, reading the game like Thomas Müller might to arrive in the box at the perfect moment to nod in a rebound from Jackson’s shot.
The third was opportunistic, a product of an era when forward players are also a team’s first defence, Palmer intercepting a wayward Jordan Pickford pass before hitting a 35-yard lob with his wrong foot into the empty net, a chip of such precision that newly crowned Masters champion Scottie Scheffler would have been proud.
Golf, of course, is an individual sport and football is a team one, even if it does not feel like one at Chelsea right now: their No 20 has now scored or assisted exactly half of all their goals this season.
Palmer is human though, terrifyingly: Pochettino threw his arms in the air when Palmer allowed James Tarkowski to outmuscle him at the back post and the Everton centre-back probably should have hit the target with his first-time shot.
But the Toffees were immediately punished for their chronic profligacy – no team has a bigger negative differential between goals scored and expected goals scored – with Jackson controlling and turning with one touch, before volleying past an increasingly forlorn Pickford.
Sean Dyche might point to the absences of Idrissa Gana Gueye and Dominic Calvert-Lewin, or the morale-sucking deduction of yet more points from their total last week.
The irony was lost on no one that somehow, of these two sides, it is billion-pound Chelsea, whose owners recently sold themselves hotels on the Stamford Bridge site to generate an on-paper profit, are within the rules and Everton, their squad worth about a third as much and trying to build a new stadium, are not.
The Toffees cannot blame the profitability and sustainability rules for their inability to win away from home though.
They have not won a league game on the road since 16 December, and only scored four times in that period. Calvert-Lewin’s replacement Beto blazed over a gilt-edged chance after only five minutes, five yards out and the goal gaping, to remind everyone why.
Even when Beto finally did find the target, the offside flag went up again as he had wandered carelessly yards offside. Everton did not manage a shot on target until the 44th minute and it barely reached Djordje Petrovic’s gloves. Beto did have another plausible chance in the second half but blazed it wide of the post with a total lack of composure.
Pochettino: I’m so upset
By Robert O’Connor, Press Association
Palmer’s four-goal haul in Chelsea’s thumping 6-0 win over Everton at Stamford Bridge was overshadowed by what Pochettino called “unacceptable” behaviour as two of his players were involved in a physical altercation over who should take a penalty.
The home side were four goals up in the second half when Jackson and Madueke caused the unsavoury scene that left their manager feeling the need to apologise to fans watching the game around the world.
“The players know, the club knows that Palmer is the penalty-taker,” said Pochettino, who was visibly agitated during his post-match duties.
“I’m so, so upset about the situation. In every country people are watching the game and we cannot send this type of image.
“I want to apologise to our fans. Discipline is the most important thing for the team. It’s a collective sport. I’m not going to accept this type of behaviour. I’m going to be very strong. I promise it’s not going to happen again.
“We need to move on and talk about the game – 6-0 against a very good team like Everton, clean sheet, I think we should be happy, no?”
Everton boss Dyche, whose side sit just two points clear of the relegation zone, reflected on a “horrid” night for his team.
“It’s miles off where we want to be,” he said. “There’s no excuses for that. Miles off the mark, miles from where we’ve been.
“The goals were alarmingly poor. It’s just simple tackling, reading and anticipating the game. The basics were out the window. A horrid night without a shadow of a doubt.”